Learning to Hug…and stuff.
Unhealthy habits aren’t limited to the ones that are publicized, there are many that nobody really talks about.
I have several and every time I think I get one under control another one rises to the surface. As tired of this cycle as I am, I must continually be mindful of how I handle these things; these bad habits.
I feel for people who have serious problems with habits that are unhealthy for their bodies and affect their families in ways that are often irreversible. I’ve seen it close to home and from afar. Currently I’m spending much of my prayer time concentrating on healing and guidance for some dear families whose lives have been drastically changed for them as a whole, not just the person with the habit.
But what about the hidden habits? They affect friends and family too and should really be brought out in the open as well.
Some habits, although non-chemical, unseen and unnoticed, are destructive to the harbor-er of them as well as the people they come in contact with: friends, family, co-workers.
Without going too deep, I’ll just mention a few.
One habit I have is to let little things irritate me. Things that wouldn’t give someone else a second thought just crawl all over me until I “fix” it or determine to work hard to let it go.
The habit of controlling little things that aren’t important. IE: Fiercely protecting the overuse of utilities and the possibility of waste to the extent of causing family members stress and causing them to constantly be on high alert for offenses that will result in cross looks, exasperated comments and/or tongue lashings.
Frequent brow furrowing which confuses others to whether you are angry or disgusted; so much so, that even when you are relaxed and happy the brow stays furrowed, thus keeping others confused as to the appropriate response to anything that involves you.
Constant guarding of emotions. Never allowing anyone to understand that you actually have feelings at all.
Now, upon reading this list, you may be cocking your head to the side and verbally expelling, “Really?”, but these can be as serious as habits that involve legal action. They may even cause legal action-such as divorce.
It has recently been brought to my attention that being open to “public” emotion can be healthy in moderation. I say moderation because I realize some people have the opposite habit; that of sharing too much emotion publicly.
When we guard provisions we limit the enjoyment and blessing from having them. Hence, I’ve realized the dryer doesn’t use as much propane as I thought and much less energy than hauling 20 pairs of jeans to the clothesline and back. Result: Dry away! Just be sure to clean the lint trap…
And with LED light bulbs, leaving lights on isn’t that big of a deal. Plus, it saves shins and toes.
These days I’m working hard to keep my eyebrows lifted when trying to focus and even smiling while concentrating instead of pulling my entire facial features toward my raised shoulders.
Mostly, I’m noticing more in my daily readings, the reoccurring nod to the importance of loving others and letting others love me. Romans 12: 9 “Let love be without dissimulation.” Dissimulation: Concealment of one’s thoughts, feelings or character.
I take this to be on both sides, the giver of love and the recipient of the love given.
One important way that this can be accomplished in my life is by opening myself up to receive the care, concern-love that is there waiting for me to receive it.
I’ve been challenged to be more vulnerable to allow growth in many areas of my life. One thing that has hindered this growth is the steel trap I keep my emotions in. I’ve lost the combination to the lock on that trap and really need to find it.
It’s okay to be strong for others and one thing I treasure is the ability to do that. I appreciate the fact that I can be trusted with things that people come to me about for comfort, guidance and prayer. It’s a profound sense of pride to know that you can be trusted and I don’t take that lightly; but when I don’t allow myself to do the same, I’m not trust-ing. That’s important too. I want to be trusted, I should allow others to be as well. (verse 3) gulp…
I’ve been blessed with incredible friends and a loving family. Would it really hurt for them to see that I can trust them? Would my world collapse if I showed a little emotion? Maybe it would flourish! I kinda think it would.
How 'bout you?
Romans 12 is a great reminder of how we should cohabitate; how we should regard each other and how we should value one another. Part of that is enabling those around us to treat us the way we treat them. We’re prone to “do unto others” but we/I don’t always allow others to do unto me, even prohibiting them all together with a shield of distrust. That’s not fair. Not fair to them, not fair to myself. When I don’t open myself to their blessing, I could inhibit them from blessing others for fear of the rejection that I’ve given them. And why on earth would I want to prohibit them from blessing me with their kindness? I should welcome it with open arms...even if I am wearing one of my favorite shirts that boldly states, “I’m Not A Hugger ''.
