Scared of Forgetting
As a kid we’d play games where we would try to scare each other and cause nightmares. Watching scary movies and doing dares were part of growing up. Now days if I’m asked what I’m scared of I may reply, “locking my keys in the car”. I’m not afraid of spiders or the dark, being alone or any of the things that are commonly heard.
I do, however, have a reoccurring dream that I hate. When I have this dream I wake up gasping for air as I cry. My heart beats painfully and the dream affects the following day.
In my dream, all the horses are emaciated and dying. When I go to them they look at me with questions and sadness. Why did I leave them and where have I been…
Sadly, my dream has caused me heartache in awake times. I’ve forgotten. A big fear of mine is forgetting.
Sure, we all forget things from time to time. Sometimes important things that should be at the forefront of our minds can even be forgotten. Forgetting why I’ve gone into the pantry isn’t really a big deal, even forgetting to make a payment can be rectified. But forgetting to let the horses out can be costly. They cannot let themselves out.
Once, I forgot to let out Mini Pearl, our miniature donkey. Poor little Pearl was so stressed, she rubbed her head on the stall door, trying to push it open for so long that her eyebrows were completely raw. She had likely brayed and paced all night wondering what she did wrong to have been punished so severely. The next morning there was no apology that could fix her distress and my heart felt shame and sadness for the suffering she had done because of me.
Although I vowed that wouldn’t happen again. I soon left Jasper in his stall and once I left all the horses penned up. What was wrong with me? I wasn’t fit to own animals if I was so irresponsible! My anger and disappointment was heavy on my mind and heart. My routine and habits changed and thus far, I’ve not left anyone penned up again. I pray I never do.
People have been known to forget even more important lives than an animal that didn’t have access to their herd or to water. Even the disciples forgot an important part of Jesus’ life. In John 12 verse 16 we read that they had forgotten what they had been told. “These things understood not his disciples at the first: but when Jesus was glorified, then remembered they that these things were written of him, and that they had done these things unto him.”
After their stay in Bethany the group proceeded toward Jerusalem and droves of people came toward Jesus with palm branches and shouting “Hosanna: Blessed is the King of Israel that cometh in the name of the Lord!” John 12:13. And when Jesus found a young donkey, He got on it and rode. That prompted the disciples to remember what they had been told. (vs 14-16 and told in Zechariah 9:9) Jesus on that donkey and hearing the cries of the people who realized the importance of Jesus...well, it’s hard to imagine they would forget knowing about something like that.
Today, as I think about the coming week and the events I have known and read, I can’t fathom ever forgetting.
Leaving the horses penned up over night is a nightmare to me, but it’s nothing compared to forgetting what Jesus did for me. And thinking of Him looking at me with sadness because of not doing what I know I should...well, no heartache would compare. I don’t want Him to ask me where I was or why I forgot.
Taking it upon myself as a priority to pay attention when I’m working with the animals and caring for them has kept me from making costly mistakes…
Taking it upon myself as a priority to share the gospel with others...well, I can only pray that it keeps someone from making a costly mistake.
Every day is a reminder of what Christ did for me. Each time I awake, I remember that He gave me life and when each day is done, I’m reminded that I am forgiven. When my savior gave Himself on the cross, He died in my place. No more sacrifices have to be made in order for me to be forgiven of every sin that I commit. And once I admitted that I am a sinner, and asked Jesus into my heart, acknowledging that HE is the Christ, the Savior, the way to Heaven, my life changed. I have new purpose and I’ll not forget-John 3:16
