Peace?

When I decided to write this blog I didn't know where I would go with it or what I would write about. Very quickly it was decided for me. Even when I try to think of a different topic my mind goes blank. I don't have an outline or a book full of titles to expand on, but I do have one full of topics. So each time I post something it's usually pretty raw and fresh. I try to be sensitive of any type of audience, but I'm starting to think that's not really who I am and I may just leave that to someone else.

This morning, before the alarm even thought about going off, I was awakened with my "orders" for today. That's how it happens; A sudden assignment is given to me with subject, topic, scripture, or random thought that I have to research or expand. So, knowing full well I couldn't go back to sleep I now sit at my laptop rambling while I wait for coffee, praying my thoughts aren't so cloudy I lose my train of thought. I may even delete most of what I've written when I go back over it after I get my wits about me.

Every day I'm given a chance to do something with my life, so are you. What I should be doing isn't what I want to be doing, but my wants are steadily changing to what I should. I realize this as my "wants" are sitting in the same place for days on end.

I've been a Christian for forty one years. But you wouldn't know it. I even worked in a church for some time. So what. What do I have to show for the past 41 years? Jesus was only on the earth for 33...look what all He did.

Maybe my imperfection can be used to make someone understand God's grace. If someone can witness a change in me will they understand God's mercy? Perhaps if I'm radical enough I can show God's joy to someone who needs it too. The hardest- easy thing I can do is show His love; but this world is getting harder and harder to love.

While there are people who are easy to love there are others...well, others are easier to pray for. I'm fortunate to have many people who are easy to love. They forgive and see the good in others easily too, and they bring me joy...but, they also bring me sadness. The heaviest, most heart-wrenching, tear-bringing, sadness. As good and loving and selfless and hard working as they are I can not get solid confirmation that they have salvation. It wrecks me.

This morning my ears ring with "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:8-9 The best people in the world may not have salvation. The worst people you know may...it can be maddening.

I can't give my soul to save anyone. Not even someone who means the world to me...I've already given it. I belong to the King. I am so anxious to be with Him, but there are still so many I want to come with me. If I believed in wishing, I'd wish it was as easy for everyone to believe as it was for me.

There is some comfort as I read Romans 10 and 11. There I see hope. Hope for the lost. Hope for me to continue helping "graft" those I care about and those I don't even know. So, as the sun does it's job and alerts the world to the new day...including all my animals who are beginning to holler, I beseech you to go forth and do the works that you've been prepared to do. Remember Romans 10:9 "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."

Praying for peace~ d