Looking Forward to “New”
Each year at this time I start to get excited about “new”.
When I was very young we would shop at Mott’s. I loved that store! Gibson’s was another store I loved, but only for one thing-paper.
Gibson’s had packs of paper that I loved and I got excited when we could go there and I was allowed to pick out a pack of paper. Crisp, clean, blank. This paper was special and as far as I know, only available at Gibson’s. Thick lined, three hole punched, rounded corners and in varied colors! Yes! Blue, light green, yellow...colored notebook paper. I was in love.
This morning I was struck by the memory of that paper that I looked so forward to. I began imagining having that paper today, making careful strokes of my super-sharp pencil as I wrote a list, a letter, a thought. That paper wasn’t scratch paper, no, I was only allowed one pack so I had to be careful how I used it and I didn’t know when I would be able to get more so I reserved it for special things. No doodling or scribbling. Only special things and only in pencil...just in case.
Gosh, these days are so different. I’ll write on just about anything. Right this moment, I’m typing away the thoughts in my head haphazardly because I know there’s spell check, and an infinite amount of room. Heck, I’m at the top of 65 pages of things I’ve written, and that’s just this file! I’ve got forty more!
But I still look fondly at a fresh pack of paper, a new notebook, next years calendar that I make myself wait until New Year’s Day to fill out the birthdays and anniversaries on...a new page on my sketch pad that holds the visions in my head that tell the stories I’d like to share.
Isn’t that how we live these days? Today wasn’t so great so we go to bed feeling that we’ll get a fresh, new start tomorrow. This year hasn’t been all it was cracked out to be…
Truthfully, I know that the result, the end, the last page doesn’t really mean anything unless I make it to the end. And I know that I cannot get there unless I finish the pages before it. What good is the story if you just read the last page? You’ll miss out on all the good parts, the ups and downs. The things that make that story stick in your memory. You’ll miss out on the anticipation of what’s next and how will you tell someone else what you learned if you don’t experience the whole book?
These days are running together in a muddled mess, like the notes written from bouncing around our wireless customer service... but they aren’t the end. And while I do allow myself to think about the newness of another year, I still chose the same calendar that I do every year...I almost got the Yoga Cats, but I just couldn’t do it…
Maybe next time I’ll go out on a limb and try something different. But for now, there is comfort and a sense of peace in the familiarity of “same”, especially when everything else is so very different.
Today I’m leaning on the truth that I know for certain, because I need to be reminded. I’ve been given a fresh new life. Crisp, clean, white as snow; and I’m constantly filling in the pages of this life the best that I can. There isn’t any certainty about tomorrow so staying in the Word and in close contact with my Savior helps me along the way.
Thankfully I know who holds my future, and I understand how to trust that I will be okay. See, when we’re told to “seek first the kingdom of God” it doesn’t mean to ask for what we want and then expect to be able to go out to the porch to get it. For me this truth means that when I put my focus on my eternity, everything I need here in this day will be taken care of. When I gave my life to Him my focus changed from my wants, to His.
I don’t say, “Okay God, I want a new pack of blue, thick-lined paper...aaaannnnd Go!”
Instead I ask, “Father God, I want to do what YOU want me to do today. And if it requires a new pack of paper, then I trust You to provide it for me, otherwise I know that You have a better plan and I trust You to lead me along the path that You have planned for me, providing for me as I go. Because I know, without a doubt, that You love me more than anyone or anything and You have my best interests in mind.” ...and sometimes I might add, “so if you see fit for me to have a new pack of paper, I trust you to provide the means for me to acquire it…”.
This helps me focus on the here and now, the things that are truly important. Today. There isn’t any reason to worry about tomorrow…especially if I’m not able to take care of today. I am not guaranteed another page in this life. I need to make today count.
I may never have another new pack of paper, and that is fine with me. Typing is much easier on my hands and faster too...Plus, I don’t have to find a place to keep the pages and pages of thoughts. And it’s much easier to share.
For now, He keeps giving me mornings, new promises every day. New chances to get it right. Opportunities to share His love. New thoughts to add to this book of life.
Finish it…it’s a real page turner.
Isaiah 43:19
Matthew 6:34
