Another One In The Books
Yesterday my husband asked what we had for supper two days ago...for my life I could not remember. It was bad enough that I kept forgetting what day it was, now I was having to try to remember two days ago.
It’s easy to recall when I turned thirty because there is evidence. My mother threw a huge party for me at a pizza place with an I Love Lucy theme. So many friends were there and as much as I resisted the idea, I really did enjoy that day. The fact that she made me wear a red wig and a clown nose probably helped stick the occasion in my memory bank, and of course there are pictures.
Forty Five was memorable as well. Another fun birthday singing at the top of my lungs with Pappy and enjoying amazing cake with great friends...also with pizza.
Fifty came and went-No big deal. Probably a regular day, likely not including pizza. No cake. No party. I’m sure Mom sent flowers.
Here we are again, birthday number whatever. It may be just another day, doing the same ol’ things, but this time I do feel older, in case you’re wondering. Why do we always ask people that on their birthday?
When my eyes opened, they didn’t want to. As I forced my body to move, it resisted. I lost count of the trips I made to the restroom before I started lunch...and before I knew it the day was done.
Another one in the books.
I guess each birthday marks a milestone, but really every day does for me.
Birthdays make me look back at the previous year and I can choose to be content with what I did, or it can help me decide to do more from then on. I can feel disappointed at how I utilized my time and vow to be more obedient for the next year, or pat myself on the head for whatever I managed to accomplish and then turn back around toward tomorrow.
Right now, I just want to sit. I don’t want to think or reflect or even plan my next step. I want to breathe deep and exhale slowly. Clear my mind and open my ears. Relax my shoulders and cleanse my soul.
Just for a minute.
I’ve been blessed with these many years and it makes me want to make the next few really count. How awesome would it be to look back and not see one single regret?
Well, regrets are lessons. Whether we want to admit it or not, they are choices we’ve made that can’t be changed, but can change us.
Admittedly, I’ve changed. I can see big change in myself over the past quarter century and I’m planning to continue the positive changes for the next quarter too; hoping and praying that I’m not the only one that sees them.
I received two birthday cards this year and they were both very enlightening. One proved the lasting effects of a solid friendship and the other confirmed my desire for the “me” I want to be in the coming years. Subtle prods from the Holy Spirit continue to push me along the winding path of the life I’m given. What I really need is a Hot Shot to the rear, but no, gentle guidance nudges me along...
Part of me begs for that hot shot, brand new batteries installed! But I know too well that my reaction would be far too crazy, which saddens me because I know that means my faith isn’t ready. You’d think by now I would be fully prepared, but I continue to fail the easy tests therefore I can’t be handed the hard ones.
Maybe next year. Maybe not…
I feel that I should add a disclaimer here, in no way do I intend to discount the calls, texts, wishes via social media and gracious love from my family. Each year I’m overwhelmed and energized by the thoughtful moments that fill my birthday. I don’t dread birthdays, I look forward to them. Each one gets me closer to my forever home!
Isaiah 46:4
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Job 12:12
