Blowing Bubbles
Most likely people go on vacation to get away from their day-to-day. Get a break. In my experience it’s been nice to get away for a bit, but I’m usually ready to get back home pretty quick.
Admittedly, the things I dread doing become mindless duties, but “chores” take on the connotation full blast when they take the place of something I’d rather be doing in my day.
After a break, I can look at them differently. Appreciate them even. I’m grateful that my horses have stalls where they can enjoy their meal without fighting for it, even though it means they need to be cleaned. And it’s a huge blessing to have the things I’m blessed with, including the abilities I have-so I clean them.
These days we’ve been forced to get away from the normal lives we were moving through back at the beginning of the year. And for the most part, I haven’t gone back to the “norm” even though there hasn’t been many changes for me or my day-to-day.
The biggest change in my life has been fellowship...or lack of it.
Out here opportunity to see family and friends comes few and far between for the most part, but thanks to my daughter getting married in March I was able to see most of them. Now, the seclusion has me evaluating my thoughts and feelings and wondering how long before I see them all again.
Why am I evaluating my situation?
Because I like it.
I do!
I’m happy to hold up in my bubble and stay away from people. I don’t have to wonder who to trust, who to stay away from who to approach. Bleh. Plus, I’m not ready to get uncomfortable. By that I mean, out of comfortable. You know, fix my hair and get dressed for real.
But at the same time I miss the people who I get filled up by. Those who love unconditionally and exude happiness!
So, I channel my thoughts and my mind to make sure I’m not being selfish.
In Luke chapter 5, Simon had been fishing and fishing and fishing. Just like every other day, he had been fishing. It was his job. Not a mindless break like my father in law enjoys.
Maybe Simon looked at fishing like I do my daily chores-just something that had to be done. Some days were better than others I expect, but during this time the fishing wasn’t going too well. So when Jesus told him to let down the nets to catch some fish (vs4) Simon’s response was likely exasperated and maybe even frustrated as he basically replied, “Man, we’ve been trying all night and haven’t had any luck, but whatever...if you say so…” Maybe he even shook his head from side to side, rolled his eyes and smirked his mouth to the side...and huffed. That’s probably what I’d do…
Sure enough though, they caught so many fish the nets began to break.
Figures. Here’s where I’d smack my head and want to crawl into a hole and I think Simon pretty much felt the same way. (vs8)
On the bright side, at least Simon did what Jesus told him to do!
Time went on and more miracles happened. Simon and his buddies left their boats and fishing nets to follow Jesus. I don’t blame them! Seems like a great idea to follow a guy like that. No worries about food or water. Heck, I’m guessing if he came up on a town with COVID he could just wipe it out with a wave of his arm. I’d follow him too!
What did Jesus do in the midst of all the people following him around and asking for all the helps and miracles IE: “chores”? Verse 16 says that he often went/withdrew to lonely places and prayed.
Hum.
He took a break.
Luke 6:12 “...Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God.”
Luke 22:41 “He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed.”
I’ve been doing a lot of that lately...praying. Oh, I’ve always been a pray-er. I’ve known the value of prayer most of my life. Seen it, done it, needed it, witnessed results of it, felt it, believe it’s highly important for life and start every day with it. But lately, I may have done it more. More openly and more intimately than ever. Most importantly I believe, I’m learning to pray for myself. Luke 22:42 Jesus is praying for himself. “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”
Honestly, I’ve always asked God to carry me, lead and guide me, always to help me, but lately I’ve been more vulnerable and open to the forging and molding that needs to be done in my life. “...but not my will but yours be done.” Sometimes that’s a hard one. Sometimes His will takes some work on my part...work I don’t wanna do. Thus my little break from “shoveling poop” (real and metaphorical).
Praying for others is a gift and an honor that I never want to give up, but asking God to open my own eyes and heart is new.
Thankfully I’ve had this opportunity to be away from drama, distraction, smoke screens and unrealistic portrayals of life and I’ve had time to evaluate my own. I’ve always strived to be real and truthful and honest. Now I’m learning to be all those things with myself. Learning all of this doesn’t mean I’m weak if I have to admit the obvious or ask for help.
I’m making time to get closer with myself because I’m making more time to sit with God. He’s not having to scream at me over all my own thoughts. He can whisper to me now because I’m more focused on what He has to say.
When He tells me to, I’ll wander back out into the wilderness of the world around me, but man, I’m lovin’ the peacefulness of my bubble. And I’m not 100 percent ready to tackle those stalls just yet…
