Procrastination Station

I’m the only one here. Guess I arrived early. Or am I late...I can’t decide.

Sitting here I wiggle, trying to get comfortable. Cross my legs, lean my elbows on my knees. Criss-cross-applesauce...sigh.

Why do I end up here when there’s so much to do? Is it because there’s so much to do? Is there really "so much" to do? Who says there’s so much to do? Is there too much to do or just so much to do…? What’s the difference in so much and too much? Is it that so much can be accomplished but too much is just unachievable? Hummm…

Deep breath, glance around. Still no one else arriving…

My head falls back against the headrest. I close my eyes. How long can I sit here? Part of me would like to stay and find out, but the rest of me is fidgety.

Why am I here-really?

Am I trying to avoid the inevitable? I know nothing will get done with me sitting here. Do I care? Who cares?

Maybe I’m organizing my attack...prioritizing my to-do’s so they can be marked off my list efficiently. Is it really my to-do’s that are holding me down?

I’m avoiding something.

Truth.

Truth is...I’m fighting. I’m fighting myself. Fighting right and wrong, truth and lies, happy and angry, mine and his. All of it.

Hello!

Who’s that?

Just get on with it!

My head snaps into a face front position. Oh my gosh, can’t I just sit here for a minute?

You’ve been here long enough. Procrastination Station can only seat one for a time. You must move on. Decide if you’re going to admit what you already know, and move on with your life.

Sigh, but I’m not ready.

Why not?

Because, I wanna sit here in my misery until I’m good and saturated in it. I wanna carry it through my day. Wear it like skin, on my face, in my hair. I want it to rest on my shoes so that it makes my feet too heavy to lift. Let it seep into my bones so it’s too hard to move. Just let me stay a bit longer?

Fine with me. You just get comfy and make yourself at home.

Who are you? I’m not sure I like your voice. Too familiar and very off-putting.

Ssssssoooo, you don’t like meeee?

I don’t think so….

Buuuttt you’re ssssooo happy here in my station…

Maybe not.

The gnawing I’ve been doing on my bottom lip becomes noticeable to me as I bite down a little too hard and snaps me out of my daze.

No, I can’t stay here waiting for something to change. I need to get on to the next station. This isn’t the stop I thought I needed. It’s too dark and I’m suddenly aware of my discomfort.

Looking around for a place to run, I finally see a light.

Kneeling down toward the foot of it, all the weight from my heaviness falls away and piles up in a big heap.

Finally, I’m able to stand and as I’m helped to my feet, I watch all that darkness swallowed up by the light. Once it’s fully disintegrated, I’m energized. My eyes open and I feel refreshed!

As I look around, there’s no sign of anything else, no darkness and no remembrance of why I was there.

Everything is clear and the path is laid out right in front of me. And as I wiggle my toes, deciding these feet feel worthy of the walk ahead, I start out, looking forward to what’s to come.

The light is leading the way. It’s out in front of me, already shining on where I’m going.

Grateful-My ticket was punched for a different journey.

Proverbs 10:4, 12:24, 13:4, 19:15